In It’s Grief, Edy Nathan examines the emotional and devastating impact of loss and trauma. It identifies the intricacies of the dark and unfamiliar effects on the self. The book illuminates how the brain holds the complex circuitry of grief. It then provides choices to help deal with the complexity of grief. It’s Grief unravels the mysterious dimensions of this journey with a clarity that transforms grief into one of life’s great teachers.
A profound read, It’s Grief: The Dance of Self-Discovery through Trauma and Loss, offers a unique approach to the personal ebb and flow of the passages and endings that occur and exist on a soul level. The grief experience is as individual as a fingerprint. Edy introduces the Eleven Phases of grief; they move into and out of one another based on one’s distinct needs, and do not need to adhere to a specific timeline or order to be understood or used. They are based on who you are in your grief. Once you identify how you interact with the world — as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, the tools that help you help yourself become more abundant and clear.
Featuring a compelling mix of science-based knowledge with heart-centered compassion, Edy Nathan shares a deep understanding of how grief can affect people at every level of their being. She offers workable tools from two decades of experience to help you actively shift moods, crippling thoughts, and behavior. This book is supportive without sugarcoating. The corresponding workbook features practical exercises to help without preaching or dictating how to grieve. Take your grief, engage with it, and allow the experience to be a time of insight and growth.
Hello book lovers! Today is a day where I will be writing another author spotlight for a well-accomplished author whose work I have loved. As you know book lovers I love learning about authors and the inspiration behind their work, it fascinates me and adds to the depth of the book because the reader will be able to better understand it. That is how the author spotlights were created because I soon discovered that you lovely readers ALSO love learning about author’s, so I am excited to tell you a little bit more about author Edy Nathan whose book It’s Grief informed me from beginning to end. I personally would recommend this book to all of those that love memoirs and self-help books but really the book can be read by anybody as it is flawlessly written and highly enjoyable. With today’s author spotlight for Edy Nathan, a biography of the author and an interview between us both will be shared, and I hope that you book lovers enjoy reading it! To kick this off here is an author bio about the wonderful Edy Nathan!
Edy Nathan, MA, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in the integration of psychotherapy and the world of spirituality. She holds a Masters from New York University and Fordham. She has post-graduate training from the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, The Gestalt Center and the Jungian Institute.
Now, how wonderful does Edy Nathan sound?! The author is a truly exceptional writer and I hope that you lovely readers have a read of the author’s work because you will not regret it! Please see below an interview between us both, I hope that you enjoy the author’s answers to my questions, they are incredible and provide some great advice too!
Thank you for joining us today at Red Headed Book Lover! Please tell us more about yourself
It’s a pleasure to be here on this site. Evolution of the self comes in many different forms. For me, grief emerged as one of the greatest teachers and most sobering experiences. It has taught the need to balance, to call life like it is, to hone in on developing skills which call upon both joy and darkness. I think of us as having been born with a beautiful Buddah- a knowing self, and that knowing, overtime, quiets, disappears, or becomes silent- at least that’s what happened for me, and as a result, grief became a partner of mine. It also helped to reinstate the relationship with the knowing self, and that is what I call the Grace in Grief.
What would your advice be for aspiring writers?
Take the time to sit with an idea. Create an outline. Follow it. Write whatever comes to mind. Don’t edit what you first write. Allow a stream of consciousness to embody what you initially write. Leave the critic at the door. It’s hard to write when the critic is on your back. Take breaks, Exercise. Eat well. And remember to laugh. This was the hardest piece for me to remember.
In your opinion, what is the most important thing about a book?
How it invites in the reader. Allows them to feel they are part of the story. Shares ideas and provokes new thought, new internal conversations, and new connections with the soul.
What is your writing process like?
Intense. I am not the kind of writer who writes for a few hours and can put the book away. When I write, I am involved with the contents of what I’m writing for 12 hour stints. It’s the best way I concentrate and lends itself to my need to be all in. I always end my writing day with a marker in the book which is easy to reconnect with. While writing, I forget to eat, forget to stretch – so as a result- I have an alarm on my phone, set to go off every three hours- it indicates time for a break – to stretch, take in some fresh air and refresh my water bottle.
Do you have a set schedule for writing, or do you only write when you feel inspired?
If I only wrote when inspired, I’d be 90 before it was done. I need to plan it. Prepare for it. Set it into motion in my head. Put it in my calendar. Commit to it.
Do you read much and if so who are your favorite authors?
I love to read. What I read varies – sometimes its work related- I love anything having to do with the brain, neuroplasticity and the ability to change those neural connections. Bessel van der Kolk, David Schnarch, and Norman Doidge. For pleasure, I love books that offer texture in the text, for example, one of my favorite books was by Gregory David Roberts- “Shantaram”- rich, fluid, alive. Most recently I read “An American Marriage” by Tayari Jones.
Lastly, when can we readers expect to read more wonderful books from you?
That seems to be a question most asked. Within the next two years, there should be more in the “It’s Grief” series. I have also had a book swimming around in my depths about the Wizard of Oz. So we will see.
As Edy Nathan writes about grief, I thought it would be a great idea to include some interview questions about grief so here is another mini interview book lovers!
If you were in conversation with grief what would you ask? What would you be curious about?
Grief shows up in ways that we cannot imagine. It likes to grab you, hold you and sometimes, if you’re not careful, keep you in its grip. Yes, when you meet grief, identify it as grief, you have entered a journey unlike any other. It is a life-long partner. It is around us in little ways and in big ways. So often, expectations embed themselves in the brain when grief is present and potent. You might find that you want to shrink wrap your emotions, tuck them away and avoid the pain of loss. Untying the shrink wrap, opening the self to all that grief can teach, can be a greater means to relief within the spirit of your being.
Since we’re having this conversation, lets outline the 8 most dreaded questions about grief- and by the way- its not the questions that are really dread- it’s the answers to them. Join me on this grief seeking adventure as we unfold the mysteries of what to expect when your grieving.
Will grief ever go away for somebody?
The short answer is no. The long answer is your relationship to it changes over time. In the immediacy of grief, the mourning process is filled with a kaleidoscope of emotions. Some emotions are too intense to face, while other emotions enable you to connect to the yearning that loss creates. When the expectation of getting rid of grief is released, a growing calm can surface, and that calm, effects our brains and the chemical pool within our heads. When this occurs, healing can take place. The emotions you were unable to face, can become easier to tackle, understand and ultimately, less overwhelming. I don’t think healing is about forgetting the grief, the loss or the trauma, it is about being able to sit in the darkness knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Does grief affect somebody’s sex life?
Sex is a normal part of life. Grief can be a disrupter of anything that has formerly been normal for you. Sexual desire can decrease, increase or stay the same when you’re grieving, The reaction of grief occurs during divorce, death, illness and various moments of loss that are experienced in life, including, survivors guilt. Since sex has the potential to offer an emotional rush, that rush can quiet the feelings associated to grief. And like any drug, it works temporarily. Acting out sexually, for example, putting oneself in sexual danger, is a hypersexual response to what wants to be avoided or ignored. If this is you, create a call to action for the self. When there is an urge to act out, call a friend, take a bath or talk yourself down from the action by changing the thought.
Sexual arousal and desire can certainly decrease while stepping into the process of grief. Your body is numb, your brain is not reacting to the same stimuli it once did, and you cannot imagine feeling pleasure or even allowing for it. This is common and may be a necessary respite while you tackle other emotions. For some people, giving themselves permission to feel good while in the mire of grief, may be feel as if they are dishonoring their grief or their loss. This takes time, and no one has the right answer for you other than you.
Will a grieving person lose friends in this process?
One of the hidden gems in grief is a recognition of who in your circle of friends stay close during the many cycles of grief you’re facing, who leaves or disappears in some way and who gets closer than before. When meeting the depths of loss and trauma, who you are changes. You might find within you an inability to have meaningful conversations, or that your desires and goals have shifted because of this journey. New and unexpected sources of engagement, socialization and intimacy may be one of the gifts offered as you walk on this path of understanding.
Is a grieving person allowed to be happy – will they disrespect somebody by moving on?
Grief does not trump happiness. The belief that happiness is not allowed after a loss is a choice for those who need to identify as the carrier of grief. Wearing it, like a protective cover or as part of you, so all know you are in pain, may get attention and focus on you. There are other more dynamic ways to get the focus on you, get needs met, and still find a path to happiness. You don’t have to stay in the blackness of mourning. What if your happiness is a way to honor what you had? What if your laughter honors what you lost and you carry the lost love within the soul through the choice to participate fully in life. Let happiness move in when it appears and move out when it no longer seems viable. Let it flow. Grant it moments of entry, and when you do, your brain has a chance to heal from the grip of grief. Happiness wants to intrude – let it.
Its official book lovers, I am obsessed with Edy Nathan! If you have liked what you have read about the author and are interested in learning more about Edy Nathan, then please do have a browse of the links below and be sure to have a read of the preview too! You will not regret it.
Goodbye for now book lovers,